Child Support

In the State of Florida, the legislature changed the way parties and the Court are to approach child related matters in Family Court in 2008. Perhaps this is best illustrated with Florida Bar article titles The End of Custody in Florida: Finally Parents are Just Parents. As a child advocate, one of the ongoing challenges with child related issues is the perception that one party will win the child or the children. This notion and perception in part stems from the concept of Custody. Whomever has Custody essentially was perceived to be the parent that wins, that parent being the better parent. To further this fallacy and fiction the Courts many times embraced the tender years doctrine which essentially stood for the notion that young children could only be proper;y cared for by their mother and that their mother should have custody. The result of this archaic set of doctrines was that children lost their Fathers and Father’s lost their children. Mother would receive a windfall of support paid by the Father’s who who be left with very little and scrap timesharing with children who many times were taught that their Father lost them for fictitious reasons conjured at the whims of their mothers. Thankfully many have gained valued insight that Father’s are an invaluable asset to their children, that children need male role models whether they are boys or girls and that children should never feel or be led to believe that one parent has won them or that one parent has lost. Our state has moved instead to the therapeutic concept that parents should share children and that they should share in parental decisions. Furthermore, that the family unit should be preserved. Unfortunately there still exists the human condition that remains flawed. Advocates of children are still needed as people, and yes parents, continue to stray from what children need and what is best for them. People continue to put their personal needs, wants, desires, aspirations and personal feelings over what is best for their own children. But at least we have a State that supports a fundamental shift to help guide people and perhaps the language that the state employs and the models that it creates will no longer be the spring from which the flock finds itself drinking. Our State recognizes and so it has become the trend and the norm that our laws should not be the starting place for litigation and for all the heartache and sadness that domestic relations starts. In stead our State hopefully may be a place where children can find refuge from the heart ache of being pulled between parents.